Fifteen-year-old “James” grew up with a violent stepfather who frequently assaulted his mom. Subsequently, he was removed from his home by the Florida Department of Children and Families, and placed in the foster care system. From there, James was moved around to several group homes and shelters, unable to fully process his pain and terror.
Significant childhood trauma can manifest in many ways, and for James, it came out as a quick temper and physical altercations. He had decided at a young age that showing emotion and vulnerability were dangerous, and the only way to keep himself safe was to swing first.
When he first came to HomeSafe, James felt shy and lonely–in his words “like a cub without a mother.” Staff welcomed him with open arms. Ms. Lakesha, in particular, discovered his fondness for sushi, and the following day, she surprised him by bringing some home. James found the experience disorienting. “It might be hard to understand, but not everybody is used to experiencing love. To me, the staff’s kindness felt foreign and weird. I didn’t know that some people could just be genuinely kind.”
Over the past year, James has bonded with both HomeSafe staff and his peers. He shares, “They say blood is thicker than water, but mud is thicker than blood. You don’t have to be related to be a family, and that’s how I feel here.” Program Supervisor, Mr. Derek, has observed James’ tough exterior gradually soften. He is proud that James has learned to pause when there is tension with one of the other boys, and how to walk away from a fight. Most importantly, James has gained the skill to reach out to trusted adults when he needs support in processing his negative emotions.
Despite all his progress at HomeSafe, James recently faced a significant setback. He had remained optimistic about reuniting with his mom after her separation from his abusive stepfather. James and his mother began enjoying weekend sleepovers, signaling progress toward their reunion. However, his hopes were dashed when she moved in with a new boyfriend, someone with a criminal record and no intention of stepping into a fatherly role. James recently learned that not only is returning home to his family not an option, but his two siblings have also been removed and placed into foster care.
Mr. Derek was the one who comforted James when he received the devastating news, and he provided a safe environment for him to open up and cry. Because of the team at HomeSafe, James now knows what he deserves—a loving family who will take care of him and provide him with the support that he needs. He is beginning to come to terms with the fact that his mom cannot fulfill that role for him. James is now preparing to transition to a less restrictive group home, one he has lived in before, and he is looking forward to reuniting with some of the staff there.
“When I think about my future, I see myself as successful—as a father, as an uncle, and as a great-great-great grandfather who will live a long and happy life with the people I love.”
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